Dear Readers,
I apologize I haven't been on here in like 1 million years. I have 2 blogs, this one and one on Tumblr, and I have neglected the both of them.
I think I want to pick it back up. I want to blog again - share what's on my brain. I will be closing this blog and using Tumblr exclusively. You can find my blog at http://uncapped.tumblr.com/.
Please do check back and see what new I've posted. I am excited about some of the things I'll be sharing and will be looking forward to great discussion to follow.
Peace and blessings :)
Monday, June 24, 2013
Friday, May 11, 2012
Renewing of Your Mind
Haters have never motivated me. I can remember people always telling me to "try a little harder, prove all those who say 'you can't' wrong!'" The problem with that is I never paid enough attention to those people to hear, "you can't."
I recently posted a fb status that read, "I jogged 2/10 of a mile today! I'm determined to get my summer body but, more importantly, I want to be a jogger/runner." My brother was the first to say,
"*__* 2...tenths..of a MILE?!? lol do you know how short a distance a mile is? it's okay, though. I still love you, dear sister of mine. soon, you'll get that 2/10 and add the other 13, along with it. progress isn't something that just happens or appear overnight, it takes time, hard work...and determination. I believe in you...I think. lol jk"
That was followed by someone else saying, "Marie, may I laugh! I officiate high school basketball at age 61 which means I have to run the court the entire game. Two-tenths of a mile? SMH"
My responses to them were, "Wow..."I'll talk about how small your accomplishment was and then give you a pat on the back bc you're trying..." Way to be supportive, bro....Nope. It's never support when you minimalize and tear down someone's accomplishments," and "A*****, you and my brother can go run in circles...at the end of the day, I met my goal," respectively.
The latter response, that person just likes to play devil's advocate and be a jerk sometimes...a lot of things said and done is to see how one responds, but looking at my brother's comment, both really, I notice how critical they both were. It was all about how small they thought my accomplishment was and how much better they are than me. Let me just throw this in, I never gave a total distance of my exercise...for all they know, I could have walked 5 miles and jogged 2/10. They just saw "2/10 of a mile" and pointed out how small of a distance that was. Well, for me, someone who was NEVER a runner, never consistent in exercising and refused to break a sweat, running 2/10 of the mile that I completed yesterday was pretty darn good. The goal is to get to the point where I am jogging half a mile and then jogging a whole mile and then two. But they completely overlooked the goal, the accomplishment and were flatout critical.
As I read their comments, more specifically my brother's comment, I think back to how people are raised. My brother and I were both raised in the same home. My family is very critical and rather judgmental. Those are two things that I have had to work on, among many, as I left the home and began to develop in to the person I wanted to be. My family are not cheerleaders...they will rip apart your accomplishments and tell you you could do better before they say, "Good job," so nothing was ever good enough. Which takes us back to the opening sentence, "Haters never motivated me." It irked the crap out of me that I couldn't just simply get a pat on the back or 'good job'...I was always in competition...which is also something I tend to stay away from. I must admit, this produced a slacker in me. I never really worked to my potential...what for? My teachers and college professors would always look at me and get frustrated because they knew how much potential I had and how little potential I was working off of and to me, I was fine doing just enough to get by. I didn't see the point in putting in all of this work only for it to be ripped apart because the truth is, if I put everything into it, I put everything into it so when my accomplishments were torn, I was being torn; that accomplishment represented me. So, yea, I just didn't. If I passed, I was content.
On the other side of all of this, my criticized childhood produced intrinsic motivation later on down the road. Anything that I go for now is simply for me...in fact, I have to snatch back certain things that I do well that others admire and want to use. I have gotten to the point that I protect my successes, accomplishments and share them only with those who are worthy and appreciative. Guitar is my biggest thing. I absolutely enjoy playing the guitar but I don't play it as well as I could...and I'm fine with that. I learn what I want to learn, when I want to learn it, at the pace that I want to learn it and I am fine with that. The thing with me is, with most things I do, I think it's a horrible job (stemming from critical childhood) and others thing it's great. My booski loves the acoustic guitar. I remember drawing a mental line when I decided I was going to learn, between the guitar and the booski because I knew he'd want to use my guitar abilities at some point. At first, I wouldn't play in front of him because what came out of the guitar was all me...it was what I felt and it didn't matter much how it sounded but with him being a musichead, it'd matter and I can't have him criticizing it. I did get to a point where I would play in front of him but still had to be cognizant of requests for me to play and it got to a point where I had to step back and say, "No. This is mine; this is for me." It's not because he was critical or anything, he is actually rather supportive, but I needed this thing of mine to be mine only...not to be in hands where it could be potentially mismanaged and criticized.
It wasn't until I got to college that someone constantly told me that I was a cheerleader. Cheerleaders made me gag. They were always so preppy and peppy and smiley and...UGH!...just too much "spirit." What I had come to understand this person to me is that I was/am always cheering someone along...supporting them...holding them accountable. That came because I had to completely rewire my way of thinking and renew my mind. Being overly critical of others just wasn't fun and people were afraid to talk to me. I didn't want that because I knew how that felt. Furthermore, it is not our job as Christians to be critical of others but we are to be supportive and encouraging and uplifting.
That status and all that it produced, really made me think about how far I've come along as a Christian and how much renewing of my mind has happened. It doesn't come easy but we should really stop and think about those things in us that are not Christ-like and outwardly effect others.
P.S. I will be a jogger...simply because I want to be...no credit to my haters.
I recently posted a fb status that read, "I jogged 2/10 of a mile today! I'm determined to get my summer body but, more importantly, I want to be a jogger/runner." My brother was the first to say,
"*__* 2...tenths..of a MILE?!? lol do you know how short a distance a mile is? it's okay, though. I still love you, dear sister of mine. soon, you'll get that 2/10 and add the other 13, along with it. progress isn't something that just happens or appear overnight, it takes time, hard work...and determination. I believe in you...I think. lol jk"
That was followed by someone else saying, "Marie, may I laugh! I officiate high school basketball at age 61 which means I have to run the court the entire game. Two-tenths of a mile? SMH"
My responses to them were, "Wow..."I'll talk about how small your accomplishment was and then give you a pat on the back bc you're trying..." Way to be supportive, bro....Nope. It's never support when you minimalize and tear down someone's accomplishments," and "A*****, you and my brother can go run in circles...at the end of the day, I met my goal," respectively.
The latter response, that person just likes to play devil's advocate and be a jerk sometimes...a lot of things said and done is to see how one responds, but looking at my brother's comment, both really, I notice how critical they both were. It was all about how small they thought my accomplishment was and how much better they are than me. Let me just throw this in, I never gave a total distance of my exercise...for all they know, I could have walked 5 miles and jogged 2/10. They just saw "2/10 of a mile" and pointed out how small of a distance that was. Well, for me, someone who was NEVER a runner, never consistent in exercising and refused to break a sweat, running 2/10 of the mile that I completed yesterday was pretty darn good. The goal is to get to the point where I am jogging half a mile and then jogging a whole mile and then two. But they completely overlooked the goal, the accomplishment and were flatout critical.
As I read their comments, more specifically my brother's comment, I think back to how people are raised. My brother and I were both raised in the same home. My family is very critical and rather judgmental. Those are two things that I have had to work on, among many, as I left the home and began to develop in to the person I wanted to be. My family are not cheerleaders...they will rip apart your accomplishments and tell you you could do better before they say, "Good job," so nothing was ever good enough. Which takes us back to the opening sentence, "Haters never motivated me." It irked the crap out of me that I couldn't just simply get a pat on the back or 'good job'...I was always in competition...which is also something I tend to stay away from. I must admit, this produced a slacker in me. I never really worked to my potential...what for? My teachers and college professors would always look at me and get frustrated because they knew how much potential I had and how little potential I was working off of and to me, I was fine doing just enough to get by. I didn't see the point in putting in all of this work only for it to be ripped apart because the truth is, if I put everything into it, I put everything into it so when my accomplishments were torn, I was being torn; that accomplishment represented me. So, yea, I just didn't. If I passed, I was content.
On the other side of all of this, my criticized childhood produced intrinsic motivation later on down the road. Anything that I go for now is simply for me...in fact, I have to snatch back certain things that I do well that others admire and want to use. I have gotten to the point that I protect my successes, accomplishments and share them only with those who are worthy and appreciative. Guitar is my biggest thing. I absolutely enjoy playing the guitar but I don't play it as well as I could...and I'm fine with that. I learn what I want to learn, when I want to learn it, at the pace that I want to learn it and I am fine with that. The thing with me is, with most things I do, I think it's a horrible job (stemming from critical childhood) and others thing it's great. My booski loves the acoustic guitar. I remember drawing a mental line when I decided I was going to learn, between the guitar and the booski because I knew he'd want to use my guitar abilities at some point. At first, I wouldn't play in front of him because what came out of the guitar was all me...it was what I felt and it didn't matter much how it sounded but with him being a musichead, it'd matter and I can't have him criticizing it. I did get to a point where I would play in front of him but still had to be cognizant of requests for me to play and it got to a point where I had to step back and say, "No. This is mine; this is for me." It's not because he was critical or anything, he is actually rather supportive, but I needed this thing of mine to be mine only...not to be in hands where it could be potentially mismanaged and criticized.
It wasn't until I got to college that someone constantly told me that I was a cheerleader. Cheerleaders made me gag. They were always so preppy and peppy and smiley and...UGH!...just too much "spirit." What I had come to understand this person to me is that I was/am always cheering someone along...supporting them...holding them accountable. That came because I had to completely rewire my way of thinking and renew my mind. Being overly critical of others just wasn't fun and people were afraid to talk to me. I didn't want that because I knew how that felt. Furthermore, it is not our job as Christians to be critical of others but we are to be supportive and encouraging and uplifting.
That status and all that it produced, really made me think about how far I've come along as a Christian and how much renewing of my mind has happened. It doesn't come easy but we should really stop and think about those things in us that are not Christ-like and outwardly effect others.
P.S. I will be a jogger...simply because I want to be...no credit to my haters.
Monday, May 7, 2012
so. Much. SILENCE!
Wow...it's almost been a year since I last blogged. I am not exactly sure if that is a testament to how busy I have been or a reflection of how long I've been silenced. Yes, silenced.
I am in this season where my words continually slip me and while I have 1 million and one things to say, the thoughts won't process enough for the words to come to my lips. Talk about silence being loud...inside my head, it's the noisiest place EVER...and then I am told to find ways to calm my spirit. HOW?! It's SO LOUD IN HERE!!!
I am not exactly sure how I got to this place. I'm sure it was a gradual progression. I know why I am silenced, in fact, I am even being slowed down...locked down even and I know why. All I can say is this season I am in...smh. MY GOD! We recently had a service where the spirit of God moved and Pastor said a couple of things that stuck with me but one that really stuck with me was when he said, "This season is growing you up." Never have I heard truer words spoken. There's this battle between flesh and spirit and I'm just caught in the middle. I want one thing, my flesh wants another, my moods are up and down, I'm pouty, whiny, irritated, agitated, everything's wrong with me, everything's great...all of this going on and I can't find words to explain what's happening when people are looking at me half crazy trying to understand. Boy, does that mess with your mind. You have a moment where someone is trying to help you and you can't find the words to explain...which means, you're forced to go through this alone. Silenced.
There's a whole other side to it though, outside of me feeling a little bit everywhere, overwhelmed and like I am going to explode from the immense pressure on the inside...yes, literal pressure, I appreciate it all because I understand that there's something on the other end. There are things being birthed in me, out of me, through me...my flesh is being challenged, my heart is being challenged, I am being made pure. Gifts are being activated, developed, polished. My spirituality is being challenged. Order is being produced. I am being forced to Grow Up.
Oh, the silence...me, myself and Jesus...in such a small place also known referred as my head. I'm learning me. I'm learning Him. I'm learned to trust Him and myself. The silence is for a reason...it's just. so. loud.
I am in this season where my words continually slip me and while I have 1 million and one things to say, the thoughts won't process enough for the words to come to my lips. Talk about silence being loud...inside my head, it's the noisiest place EVER...and then I am told to find ways to calm my spirit. HOW?! It's SO LOUD IN HERE!!!
I am not exactly sure how I got to this place. I'm sure it was a gradual progression. I know why I am silenced, in fact, I am even being slowed down...locked down even and I know why. All I can say is this season I am in...smh. MY GOD! We recently had a service where the spirit of God moved and Pastor said a couple of things that stuck with me but one that really stuck with me was when he said, "This season is growing you up." Never have I heard truer words spoken. There's this battle between flesh and spirit and I'm just caught in the middle. I want one thing, my flesh wants another, my moods are up and down, I'm pouty, whiny, irritated, agitated, everything's wrong with me, everything's great...all of this going on and I can't find words to explain what's happening when people are looking at me half crazy trying to understand. Boy, does that mess with your mind. You have a moment where someone is trying to help you and you can't find the words to explain...which means, you're forced to go through this alone. Silenced.
There's a whole other side to it though, outside of me feeling a little bit everywhere, overwhelmed and like I am going to explode from the immense pressure on the inside...yes, literal pressure, I appreciate it all because I understand that there's something on the other end. There are things being birthed in me, out of me, through me...my flesh is being challenged, my heart is being challenged, I am being made pure. Gifts are being activated, developed, polished. My spirituality is being challenged. Order is being produced. I am being forced to Grow Up.
Oh, the silence...me, myself and Jesus...in such a small place also known referred as my head. I'm learning me. I'm learning Him. I'm learned to trust Him and myself. The silence is for a reason...it's just. so. loud.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
"We Are Family"
In the past four weeks, I've been home twice. The first time I went was for a funeral for my Great Aunt. The second time I went was to celebrate my mother's birthday! Both trips were a learning experience.
Every family is jacked up in some kind of way. My family on my dad's side is just fake...simply put. The only person I can really count on, the only consistent person on my dad's side, is my Uncle. Of all of my Uncle's he's my favorite uncle but he's just awesome in every way. lol When I get old, I'm going to take care of him...but enough about all of that. So, when I went home for the funeral, my cousins came out, my dad came out and then was everyone else. It had been placed on my heart to tell everyone that they suck because my uncle had been taking care of everything and everyone and he had little to no help. In addition, he was the only one working (as an assistant principal) and going to school (for his doctorate) and taking care of my aunt (who is a handful). so, at the point where I realized my uncle is burned out and ready to quit stuff and is just exhausted, I was frustrated at everyone else because my aunt wasn't just his aunt but all of their aunt. Then, my question is, what happens after she passes? Will the family forever split?
Anywho, I didn't have to say anything because the pastor who did the funeral was also a cousin and he called the family out. So I was like, SCORE! While I was frustrated and needed to say it, I didn't want to so God gave me an out. lol After the funeral, everyone went over to my uncle's house and hung out. Again, my dad's side of the family (all 10 of them) are fake so there were hugs and kisses and I love you's and such and I thought, I will give them another chance...another chance to prove me wrong - that's where my "490: It's a Number's Game" blog came from. Now, fast forward to this past week's trip...
I hadn't been home in about a year. When I left, I left with excitement and joy. I kept in touch with my family every now and again but I was free. In this year away though, God did a lot of surgery on my heart and mind and a lot of reasons why I wanted to get away were understood, explained and reconciled. Also, being away, who I am was established. I never really fit in with the family (so to speak) so there was this quest of who I really am and I got that in this year. All that to say, when I went home, I went home a different person than when I left. I was so excited to see my family and had a blast! Things that used to be a conflict weren't a conflict and we all just enjoyed each others' company. Leaving and coming back to my new home was a bittersweet moment.
Another thing that happened is when I was home for the funeral, one of my relatives and I exchanged numbers and they suggested we get together for lunch or something when I was to come back for my mother's b-day. I'm all for it, we move from now and leave the past in the past right? So, when home, they sent me a text about something and I responded letting them know how long I would be in town. Now, knowing their track record, I had an expectation but I was also expecting them to prove me wrong and (drumroll please) they proved me right. Am I upset? No; you learn to love people for who they are and if/when they decide to change, then you roll with it...490 right?
My idea of family has changed in these past few weeks. I've learned to love my family harder and with more passion. Each day with them and apart makes me appreciate them all the more and recognized how blessed I am to be connected to them forever. I can't wait for the next time that I am home!
Every family is jacked up in some kind of way. My family on my dad's side is just fake...simply put. The only person I can really count on, the only consistent person on my dad's side, is my Uncle. Of all of my Uncle's he's my favorite uncle but he's just awesome in every way. lol When I get old, I'm going to take care of him...but enough about all of that. So, when I went home for the funeral, my cousins came out, my dad came out and then was everyone else. It had been placed on my heart to tell everyone that they suck because my uncle had been taking care of everything and everyone and he had little to no help. In addition, he was the only one working (as an assistant principal) and going to school (for his doctorate) and taking care of my aunt (who is a handful). so, at the point where I realized my uncle is burned out and ready to quit stuff and is just exhausted, I was frustrated at everyone else because my aunt wasn't just his aunt but all of their aunt. Then, my question is, what happens after she passes? Will the family forever split?
Anywho, I didn't have to say anything because the pastor who did the funeral was also a cousin and he called the family out. So I was like, SCORE! While I was frustrated and needed to say it, I didn't want to so God gave me an out. lol After the funeral, everyone went over to my uncle's house and hung out. Again, my dad's side of the family (all 10 of them) are fake so there were hugs and kisses and I love you's and such and I thought, I will give them another chance...another chance to prove me wrong - that's where my "490: It's a Number's Game" blog came from. Now, fast forward to this past week's trip...
I hadn't been home in about a year. When I left, I left with excitement and joy. I kept in touch with my family every now and again but I was free. In this year away though, God did a lot of surgery on my heart and mind and a lot of reasons why I wanted to get away were understood, explained and reconciled. Also, being away, who I am was established. I never really fit in with the family (so to speak) so there was this quest of who I really am and I got that in this year. All that to say, when I went home, I went home a different person than when I left. I was so excited to see my family and had a blast! Things that used to be a conflict weren't a conflict and we all just enjoyed each others' company. Leaving and coming back to my new home was a bittersweet moment.
Another thing that happened is when I was home for the funeral, one of my relatives and I exchanged numbers and they suggested we get together for lunch or something when I was to come back for my mother's b-day. I'm all for it, we move from now and leave the past in the past right? So, when home, they sent me a text about something and I responded letting them know how long I would be in town. Now, knowing their track record, I had an expectation but I was also expecting them to prove me wrong and (drumroll please) they proved me right. Am I upset? No; you learn to love people for who they are and if/when they decide to change, then you roll with it...490 right?
My idea of family has changed in these past few weeks. I've learned to love my family harder and with more passion. Each day with them and apart makes me appreciate them all the more and recognized how blessed I am to be connected to them forever. I can't wait for the next time that I am home!
Monday, August 1, 2011
490: It's a Number's Game
I have been thinking about my father and the relationship that we have, as opposed to the one we had or I'd hope we'd have, and I keep hearing "490." Jesus said that we are to forgive our brother 70X7 times...that equals 490. Now me being me, I'm already questioning whether it'd be ok to keep count? lol A rebuttal: When Jesus forgives us, it has been throwing into the sea of forgetfulness...does He keep count? Think about it.
So, 490...70 X 7. I did a little research and found that the number 70 deals with a time of judgment against God's people - or the punishment and restoration of Israel. The number 7 is the number of perfection and spiritual completeness. So, in forgiving someone you have an immediate judgment upon the offender. You may think of many things to do to "punish" them but there is a restoration period where all goes back to the way it was before the offense. Now, that doesn't mean be stupid...wisdom will let you recognize someone's true character and respond to who they are. Honestly, knowing and accepting who a person is and not for who you want them to be makes it easier to forgive them of certain things that you would have initially gone 0 to 60 about. When you are in this cycle of "punishment/judgment" and restoration, your forgiveness is perfect and complete. The word restoration means, "
So, 490...70 X 7. I did a little research and found that the number 70 deals with a time of judgment against God's people - or the punishment and restoration of Israel. The number 7 is the number of perfection and spiritual completeness. So, in forgiving someone you have an immediate judgment upon the offender. You may think of many things to do to "punish" them but there is a restoration period where all goes back to the way it was before the offense. Now, that doesn't mean be stupid...wisdom will let you recognize someone's true character and respond to who they are. Honestly, knowing and accepting who a person is and not for who you want them to be makes it easier to forgive them of certain things that you would have initially gone 0 to 60 about. When you are in this cycle of "punishment/judgment" and restoration, your forgiveness is perfect and complete. The word restoration means, "
a return of something to a former, original, normal, or unimpaired condition." That means, all goes back to normal...perfect and complete.
Now, you may be wondering, why should I have to keep forgiving a person though? Like, why are we going in circles? A circle is made of 360 degrees. 360 is broken down into 180 and 2, 60 and 6 and can also be broken into 120 and 3, among other divisions.
So, why do you keep coming back around to having to deal with this concept of forgiveness? Maybe because you are double minded...trying to walk a line of righteousness but remaining divided from God. Or, maybe it's due to your own pride and conceit. You feel like you shouldn't have to say this and that and that they should apologize and they owe you this and that...and you find yourself walking in circles. Or, maybe because God just wants to make sure that you are pure through and through and is testing that. Whenever you purchase something that is to be of great value, you'll always inspect it or test it out to be sure you're getting the real deal...the same goes for what God wants out of us...purity, clarity, quality and efficiency. Whatever it may be, it's easier to have a forgiving 490 mindset than to have 490 + 10 years of kicking and screaming, + 2 years of hatred and bitterness + 3 years of trying to get rid of the hatred and bitterness +1 year of tears + ... = a life of confusion, frustration and turmoil.
So, as I conclude this blog, I find myself thinking about my relationship with my dad again. While I am not happy about what I am learning, as I have done for others, I am learning to deal with him for who he is and not who I want him to be and to give him 490...instead of me doing 360s.
Now, you may be wondering, why should I have to keep forgiving a person though? Like, why are we going in circles? A circle is made of 360 degrees. 360 is broken down into 180 and 2, 60 and 6 and can also be broken into 120 and 3, among other divisions.
- 180 and 2 -we know that 180 degrees is a straight line. What you may not have known is that the number two is connected with separation, things that are divided or things that bring about division. 180 can be further broken down into 18 and 10. The number 18 deals with bondage while the number 10 deals with completeness that happens in a divine order or completed during a course of time. Your bondage plus God's order will put you on the straight and narrow path, your bondage can become your testimony but if you are double minded, don't have your mind made up completely, then you'll find yourself walking in 360 degree circles.
- 60 and 6 - The number 60 is associated with the sin of pride and conceit. The number 6 deals with the weakness of man and the manifestation of sin; human labor - secular completeness. Your own pride will keep you bound by your own thoughts, thinking you know it all until you get trapped but won't put your pride aside to ask for help which keeps you going in 360 degree circles. Spinning in sin.
- 120 and 3 - The number 120 is in reference to a divine probation period. The number 3 deals with approval, viewing things within its entirety, and things that have become solid and complete. Sometimes God will bring you back to different things to see how you will handle them a second time around, hence the divine probation period but when you have shown Him that you've mastered that thing, there's approval and it is shown that you have become solid and complete in that area. If you have not mastered that thing, it will also be noted as you are being viewed in your entirety - from your thoughts to your heart to your actions.
So, why do you keep coming back around to having to deal with this concept of forgiveness? Maybe because you are double minded...trying to walk a line of righteousness but remaining divided from God. Or, maybe it's due to your own pride and conceit. You feel like you shouldn't have to say this and that and that they should apologize and they owe you this and that...and you find yourself walking in circles. Or, maybe because God just wants to make sure that you are pure through and through and is testing that. Whenever you purchase something that is to be of great value, you'll always inspect it or test it out to be sure you're getting the real deal...the same goes for what God wants out of us...purity, clarity, quality and efficiency. Whatever it may be, it's easier to have a forgiving 490 mindset than to have 490 + 10 years of kicking and screaming, + 2 years of hatred and bitterness + 3 years of trying to get rid of the hatred and bitterness +1 year of tears + ... = a life of confusion, frustration and turmoil.
So, as I conclude this blog, I find myself thinking about my relationship with my dad again. While I am not happy about what I am learning, as I have done for others, I am learning to deal with him for who he is and not who I want him to be and to give him 490...instead of me doing 360s.
Friday, July 8, 2011
0 to 60
Hello Everyone! I haven't blogged in a while and I have recently encountered some things that made me think about what things frustrate me in 0-60 seconds. lol I have also asked others what things frustrated them instantly and it's been entertaining. I thought I'd share some of my 0-60s. (These are not in any order, by the way.)
I. Vain words - OMG! Don't just say to say...let there be meaning behind your words. This and pacification go hand in hand...don't pacify me. If you disagree, say so. If you just say, "okay," it makes me feel like you can't argue your point, are afraid to make your point or are just brushing me off. We don't have to argue, I don't like arguing, but don't say something you don't mean or just blow it off. Don't say, "I love you," if you don't really mean it. Oh! Also, just saying stuff because you feel you're "supposed" to say it. I'd be the person not to return a compliment because I can't think of one and don't want to lie to you. lol Your words is the only thing you can't take back. Furthermore, people hold you to your words; your actions typically back up your words. Think before you speak.
II. Follow Through - This goes with vain words, don't say you're going to do something that you know you probably won't do. This is only 0-60 if it happens more than once because I know it's a behavior of yours and you say something knowing you're not going to do it. For example, don't say you're going to call me right back, or come right back, and take a million years to do it or don't do it at all. Because you said it, I wait or make time for you to call/come back. If you don't, you have wasted my time. This also goes with, "Hey, let's get together and do ______." I'm all pumped and ready, canceling opportunities to do it with others because I made plans to do it with someone else and then we never do it. OMG! I go to things by myself now; simply because I don't want to miss out and folks don't follow through.
III. Pot and Kettle - Do not constantly talk about something that I do that you constantly do...and then scoff about it! LOL Trust that I will hold up a mirror and tell you about yourself...simply because you tried to come at me about something that you do.
IV. Opinions/preferences - I really dislike when people state their opinion as fact. It burns my toast when someone gets up in front of someone (or a group of people) and boldly make a statement (or directive) that is based off of their opinion. Where are the facts??? And if you ask them about it, it'll boil down to, "well, I just feel..." WHAT?! I'm ok with you stating your opinion, just don't push it as if it was a fact. It boils down to a "My way" concept...that things have to be seen "my way."
V. Loud Mouth - It is not only rude but completely disrespectful to start yelling over someone to say what you want to say...WAIT YOUR TURN! SOMEONE ELSE IS SPEAKING! In a discussion, debate, argument, do not cut someone off...let them complete their statement and then respond. If you need to have pen and paper to jot notes of what you are waiting to say in response to something said, do so. Now, under certain circumstances it's ok to interject with an, "Excuse me..." I typically like to raise my hand. It lets others know that I have a thought and would like to share, it reminds me what I was going to say, and it grabs the attention of others. I've learned that listening is, sometimes, more powerful than speaking. If you just let a person talk, you'll find they'll talk themselves into circles or eventually contradict themselves helping your point. On the other hand, listening may let you know that it's not even worth opening your mouth to respond. Beyond all of that, it's just rude to speak over someone and disrespectful to start yelling over them.
Ok, I think this is it. This list is different from my list of pet peeves. lol Here are 5 pet peeves;
I. Someone chewing with their mouth open; more specifically, being able to hear the food sloshing around in someone's mouth. #disgusting!
II. Ok, this is borderline 0-60, when someone doesn't understand something and instead of thinking about it (or they refuse to take the time), they say it's stupid, dumb, lame, whatevs. What's stupid is you not taking the time to think it out. You can't say something is stupid if you didn't take time to think about it. What you don't understand isn't stupid...you just don't understand.
III. Also borderline, people making assumptions about me, or other things, and acting upon that assumption. Honey, just ask. Your assumption can make matters so much more complicated than necessary...just ask.
IV. In a group setting involving food, or when sharing chips or something, when people use their hands. I don't know where your hands have been!!! Use a napkin or shake the chips out of the bag...don't use your hands. The only time it's ok is if you do not have the napkin option (and that will be the thing that I won't eat because folks have been fingering the food) or if you can clearly pick up something without touching the other food around. Oh man! The same goes with pizza. If you are sharing a pizza with a group and you can't get your piece detached from another, use a napkin to separate them or ask someone to take the other piece and you two can detach your pieces.
V. Oh, speaking. If I speak to you, do not ignore me. If you enter a room that has people in it, you're supposed to speak. If you're in a room and someone enters and speaks, acknowledge them. It's common courtesy. I've had an instance where I entered a room, spoke, no one responded. Five minutes later, they were like, "You came in here and didn't speak." No, I spoke, you didn't acknowledge me. So, there was another instance where I entered a room and they were conversing so I didn't "interrupt," and I still got the, "You came in here and didn't speak." Well, according to your previous behavior...! Let's just stick to the code of conduct, folks.
Ok, this is a minimal list. I honestly don't know if I can come up with more. It took me a little bit to think of these. lol I would be interested in reading a 0-60 and pet peeve of yours in the comment box. Do share! :)
I. Vain words - OMG! Don't just say to say...let there be meaning behind your words. This and pacification go hand in hand...don't pacify me. If you disagree, say so. If you just say, "okay," it makes me feel like you can't argue your point, are afraid to make your point or are just brushing me off. We don't have to argue, I don't like arguing, but don't say something you don't mean or just blow it off. Don't say, "I love you," if you don't really mean it. Oh! Also, just saying stuff because you feel you're "supposed" to say it. I'd be the person not to return a compliment because I can't think of one and don't want to lie to you. lol Your words is the only thing you can't take back. Furthermore, people hold you to your words; your actions typically back up your words. Think before you speak.
II. Follow Through - This goes with vain words, don't say you're going to do something that you know you probably won't do. This is only 0-60 if it happens more than once because I know it's a behavior of yours and you say something knowing you're not going to do it. For example, don't say you're going to call me right back, or come right back, and take a million years to do it or don't do it at all. Because you said it, I wait or make time for you to call/come back. If you don't, you have wasted my time. This also goes with, "Hey, let's get together and do ______." I'm all pumped and ready, canceling opportunities to do it with others because I made plans to do it with someone else and then we never do it. OMG! I go to things by myself now; simply because I don't want to miss out and folks don't follow through.
III. Pot and Kettle - Do not constantly talk about something that I do that you constantly do...and then scoff about it! LOL Trust that I will hold up a mirror and tell you about yourself...simply because you tried to come at me about something that you do.
IV. Opinions/preferences - I really dislike when people state their opinion as fact. It burns my toast when someone gets up in front of someone (or a group of people) and boldly make a statement (or directive) that is based off of their opinion. Where are the facts??? And if you ask them about it, it'll boil down to, "well, I just feel..." WHAT?! I'm ok with you stating your opinion, just don't push it as if it was a fact. It boils down to a "My way" concept...that things have to be seen "my way."
V. Loud Mouth - It is not only rude but completely disrespectful to start yelling over someone to say what you want to say...WAIT YOUR TURN! SOMEONE ELSE IS SPEAKING! In a discussion, debate, argument, do not cut someone off...let them complete their statement and then respond. If you need to have pen and paper to jot notes of what you are waiting to say in response to something said, do so. Now, under certain circumstances it's ok to interject with an, "Excuse me..." I typically like to raise my hand. It lets others know that I have a thought and would like to share, it reminds me what I was going to say, and it grabs the attention of others. I've learned that listening is, sometimes, more powerful than speaking. If you just let a person talk, you'll find they'll talk themselves into circles or eventually contradict themselves helping your point. On the other hand, listening may let you know that it's not even worth opening your mouth to respond. Beyond all of that, it's just rude to speak over someone and disrespectful to start yelling over them.
Ok, I think this is it. This list is different from my list of pet peeves. lol Here are 5 pet peeves;
I. Someone chewing with their mouth open; more specifically, being able to hear the food sloshing around in someone's mouth. #disgusting!
II. Ok, this is borderline 0-60, when someone doesn't understand something and instead of thinking about it (or they refuse to take the time), they say it's stupid, dumb, lame, whatevs. What's stupid is you not taking the time to think it out. You can't say something is stupid if you didn't take time to think about it. What you don't understand isn't stupid...you just don't understand.
III. Also borderline, people making assumptions about me, or other things, and acting upon that assumption. Honey, just ask. Your assumption can make matters so much more complicated than necessary...just ask.
IV. In a group setting involving food, or when sharing chips or something, when people use their hands. I don't know where your hands have been!!! Use a napkin or shake the chips out of the bag...don't use your hands. The only time it's ok is if you do not have the napkin option (and that will be the thing that I won't eat because folks have been fingering the food) or if you can clearly pick up something without touching the other food around. Oh man! The same goes with pizza. If you are sharing a pizza with a group and you can't get your piece detached from another, use a napkin to separate them or ask someone to take the other piece and you two can detach your pieces.
V. Oh, speaking. If I speak to you, do not ignore me. If you enter a room that has people in it, you're supposed to speak. If you're in a room and someone enters and speaks, acknowledge them. It's common courtesy. I've had an instance where I entered a room, spoke, no one responded. Five minutes later, they were like, "You came in here and didn't speak." No, I spoke, you didn't acknowledge me. So, there was another instance where I entered a room and they were conversing so I didn't "interrupt," and I still got the, "You came in here and didn't speak." Well, according to your previous behavior...! Let's just stick to the code of conduct, folks.
Ok, this is a minimal list. I honestly don't know if I can come up with more. It took me a little bit to think of these. lol I would be interested in reading a 0-60 and pet peeve of yours in the comment box. Do share! :)
Monday, June 20, 2011
Friends With Borders
Pastor once told me that whenever someone in the Bible was preparing for ministry, they were in a place of isolation: Jesus, John the Baptist, etc. While I have started to really feel like I'm at a point of isolation, God has also allowed some great people in my life. While I understand that everyone can't handle you where you are or where you're going, and everyone that comes into your life isn't sent from God, and we have to be discerning of the two, I have some pretty awesome people in my life but, there's a catch. Everyone lives at least a half hour away from me.
While isolation is necessary to understand self, reconnect with God, the Bible does say that it's not greatest to be alone. I think God has sent these people to hold me accountable, teach me new things and just really show me what a real friend is. I appreciate the honesty, originality and genuine care had for one another. I appreciate just having good clean fun and walking away like I had the time of my life! I never want to come back home because I have to leave them but I'm still in preparation mode. It's like, "You can have friends but I need you to remain focused." These people are such a blessing - a help to keep me from crawling into a shell ('cause they pull me out to diff events) but also a push to do what's right and to strive to become a better me in Him.
I could give a list of all the people I am referring to, and give a few words to their presence in my life but I'll just say: thank you all so much for being such loving, caring, friendly, genuine people. I love you all so much and appreciate each and every one of you in my life. You all encourage me to do better, to be better!
Much love!
While isolation is necessary to understand self, reconnect with God, the Bible does say that it's not greatest to be alone. I think God has sent these people to hold me accountable, teach me new things and just really show me what a real friend is. I appreciate the honesty, originality and genuine care had for one another. I appreciate just having good clean fun and walking away like I had the time of my life! I never want to come back home because I have to leave them but I'm still in preparation mode. It's like, "You can have friends but I need you to remain focused." These people are such a blessing - a help to keep me from crawling into a shell ('cause they pull me out to diff events) but also a push to do what's right and to strive to become a better me in Him.
I could give a list of all the people I am referring to, and give a few words to their presence in my life but I'll just say: thank you all so much for being such loving, caring, friendly, genuine people. I love you all so much and appreciate each and every one of you in my life. You all encourage me to do better, to be better!
Much love!
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)