In the past four weeks, I've been home twice. The first time I went was for a funeral for my Great Aunt. The second time I went was to celebrate my mother's birthday! Both trips were a learning experience.
Every family is jacked up in some kind of way. My family on my dad's side is just fake...simply put. The only person I can really count on, the only consistent person on my dad's side, is my Uncle. Of all of my Uncle's he's my favorite uncle but he's just awesome in every way. lol When I get old, I'm going to take care of him...but enough about all of that. So, when I went home for the funeral, my cousins came out, my dad came out and then was everyone else. It had been placed on my heart to tell everyone that they suck because my uncle had been taking care of everything and everyone and he had little to no help. In addition, he was the only one working (as an assistant principal) and going to school (for his doctorate) and taking care of my aunt (who is a handful). so, at the point where I realized my uncle is burned out and ready to quit stuff and is just exhausted, I was frustrated at everyone else because my aunt wasn't just his aunt but all of their aunt. Then, my question is, what happens after she passes? Will the family forever split?
Anywho, I didn't have to say anything because the pastor who did the funeral was also a cousin and he called the family out. So I was like, SCORE! While I was frustrated and needed to say it, I didn't want to so God gave me an out. lol After the funeral, everyone went over to my uncle's house and hung out. Again, my dad's side of the family (all 10 of them) are fake so there were hugs and kisses and I love you's and such and I thought, I will give them another chance...another chance to prove me wrong - that's where my "490: It's a Number's Game" blog came from. Now, fast forward to this past week's trip...
I hadn't been home in about a year. When I left, I left with excitement and joy. I kept in touch with my family every now and again but I was free. In this year away though, God did a lot of surgery on my heart and mind and a lot of reasons why I wanted to get away were understood, explained and reconciled. Also, being away, who I am was established. I never really fit in with the family (so to speak) so there was this quest of who I really am and I got that in this year. All that to say, when I went home, I went home a different person than when I left. I was so excited to see my family and had a blast! Things that used to be a conflict weren't a conflict and we all just enjoyed each others' company. Leaving and coming back to my new home was a bittersweet moment.
Another thing that happened is when I was home for the funeral, one of my relatives and I exchanged numbers and they suggested we get together for lunch or something when I was to come back for my mother's b-day. I'm all for it, we move from now and leave the past in the past right? So, when home, they sent me a text about something and I responded letting them know how long I would be in town. Now, knowing their track record, I had an expectation but I was also expecting them to prove me wrong and (drumroll please) they proved me right. Am I upset? No; you learn to love people for who they are and if/when they decide to change, then you roll with it...490 right?
My idea of family has changed in these past few weeks. I've learned to love my family harder and with more passion. Each day with them and apart makes me appreciate them all the more and recognized how blessed I am to be connected to them forever. I can't wait for the next time that I am home!
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