My brother graduated from the Air Force last month. It was in Texas and I was excited because I'd never been to Texas but I was nervous because I had never flown by myself before. I was sure that I was going to end up stranded somewhere for the weekend because I got lost in the airport.
I was dropped off at the airport and as I sat there waiting to board the plane, I found myself observing the people around. Most of them looked fairly unpleasant as they waited. When it was time to board, we walked down a flight of stairs and onto the asphalt. I saw the little 50ish passenger plane and thought, "Oh no! I remember all that my mom has said about these planes...she hates these planes! She refuses to ride on them and says that you can feel every bit of turbulence on them. OOOOOOOOOH MY!" I didn't too much have a choice so I boarded.
The only thing I really wanted was the window seat. Luckily that's the seat that I had. I was sitting next to a business man who was with a group of other business men in their blue button up shirts, ties and suit jackets. They made some inside office joke and laughed. I found myself looking out of the window, watching the men in yellow jackets make sure everything was on the plane. When the plane started moving I thought, "Anyone who can drive a plane in reverse has mad whip skills!" I later learned that the plane is pushed back by a crew on another machine. lol
All the while the stewardesses were giving us instructions, I was thinking about taxiing. How do they know which lane to pick? How do they know how much time to wait before laying on the gas and taking flight after the plane before it? I got the important parts though - the oxygen mask will fall in front of my face, put it on before helping Mr. Business Man. If we crash into water, my seat cushion is a floatation device. I'm good! They eventually sat down and we finished taxiing preparing for take off.
The anticipation built as we waited to move. Then the pilot put his foot on the gas and we went from a slow roll to a really fast pace and before you knew it, the tires were coming off of the ground. I looked straight ahead to see the angle at which we were ascending and then back out of the window. The earth is so beautiful. There were green trees, hills, mountains, rivers winding through the landscape. It was beautiful; the sun glistened off of the water, the birds soared through the sky.I couldn't help but to think of the magnitude of God. I mean, He created this whole world, this is His artwork. What was even more amazing is that the same God who created such a beautiful world also created me. In fact, I am the masterpiece. Psalms 139:14 says, "I am fearfully and wonderfully made." The Bible never talks about how great the earth is but it does say that it shall pass away. On the other hand, my soul is eternal. Two things, created by the great Creator, fashioned in the same hands and while I am very small on a global scale, I am very big/important to God.
As we ascended, we landed among the clouds. They were so big and fluffy! It was almost like being in Honey, I Shrunk The Kids and we got lost in the toiletry bin. We would fly through a cloud and experience a little turbulence due to the change is pressure but when we come out, it's like a wonderland of cotton! All I wanted to do was bounce from fluff to fluff, stretch out on one of them and look at the stars. Yes, yes; I know they wouldn't hold my weight but that didn't keep me from wanting to feel it. Then I thought about heaven. I know there are streets paved with gold and gates of pearl but will we sleep on clouds? Will we ever experience the clouds first hand? I guess it won't matter too much then, we'll be caught up in seeing Jesus n'em!
We eventually got to Memphis and I thought back to what my friend told me, "Find the terminal and then find the gate." As soon as I came out of the tunnel I found my flight on the screen and walked as fast as I could to get to where I needed to be. Needless to say, I made it. I grabbed a bite to eat and some goodies to take on the plane. This one was a lot bigger. I had the window seat again and I shared a row with two older ladies who were sisters. They were going to visit one of their sons in San Antonio. They were so cute! The one closest to me had onion breath and I knew my friend would die to see her in a white coat before Easter. When I had my Zune out, she asked me questions about the touchscreen capabilities, wireless internet, etc.
I was so tired from the night before that I practically passed out when I was able to put in my headphones. I woke up at one point and looked out of the window and the sky was crystal clear. There was a rainbow of color from the green ground, some orange, yellow and blue, up to the black night sky. It was amazing! Even better was the little storm cloud off in the distance. It stood by itself...there were no other clouds near it at all. From above you could tell that it was full of water just as much as seeing it from below. It appeared small enough to hold in the palm of my hand and watch it light up like a toy. The lightening made the cloud flicker colors of orange and blue. I've never felt closer to God than when I was flying. It was like I was experiencing through world from His point of view...having a chance to smile at the things He smiles at.
Coming in to San Antonio was beautiful. I do not like rollercoasters but I enjoyed the descending. We would drop and then accelerate, level out and then drop again, accelerate and then level out. The closer we got to the ground, the brighter the lights became until you were able to make distinctions between buildings, cars and street lights. Most importantly, I was excited to see my family.
While my one brother is graduating from the Air Force, his twin had just come home from Afghanistan and I hadn't seen him in over a year. Our planes dropped us off at two different spots of the airport but when we found each other there were hugs and kisses and comments about size and hair and all the things that have changed since the last time we were all together. I know this moment was most special for mom because this was the first time in over a year that all of her children were at the same place at the same time.
This weekend I realized how close my brothers and I have become. I asked the Marine if he purposely put me in window seats because I liked them and he said, "No. It's a safety factor. I learned that the window seats are the most safe and the seats that are 1-2 rows behind the exit in the middle of the plane." When I thought about it, that's exactly where I sat on the planes - a window seat 1-2 rows behind the exit window. My brother was protecting me without me knowing it. I often call them my big little brothers and they call me their little big sister. They stand at least 6 ft. They always walk beside me, most times we link arms, but they're like my body guards. We look out for each other no matter what and we never have a conversation without saying "I love you." I love my brothers until the end of time.
Someone once asked me, considering the fact that my brother was in Afghanistan, how I dealt with him being over there and not worrying whether he would make it home or if he would have his sanity. At the time I couldn't think of anything except that I talk to him enough to know he's the same person that left. I thought about it more that weekend - because I do not get to talk to them all of the time I think about what it would be like to never speak to them again, for the down time to become reality. It is then when I appreciate the fact that they are still alive and love them that much more. We, as humans, do not appreciate the lives of others as much as we should and when they're gone, we have regrets.
Anywho, while watching my Airman become an Airman and sitting next to the Marine I thought about how proud I was of them. They've come into their own...found their place in the world. There's nothing greater than really finding that place where you fit. Looking at them made me reflect on my life and how we're all adults. My little brothers are now my little men...and not so little, actually.
I was really sad to leave when it was all over. The three of us hadn't been together in over a year and I felt a love that I hadn't felt before and I had to walk away from it. The Airman said when he gets leave he's picking up the Marine and they're road tripping to my house. You have no idea the foolishness that goes down when the three of us are together. It's hilarity to the max!
I got to the airport extremely early and there were a lot of people in fatigue sitting with loved ones before their flight left. The one thing I'll never forget is when the silence was interrupted by a little girl screaming, "Bye Daddy! Daddy, bye! BYE DADDY!!!" She had to be about 3 or 4 years old. She stood there with her brothers waving their American flags. Their mother stood behind them sobbing lightly as they say goodbye to their husband and father. He turns around and waves and then disappears into the tunnel. There was 3 seconds of silence before the little girl cried, "DAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDDDYYYYYYYY!!!!" The mom crouches down to console her and whisper words of comfort. In the moment, I thought about how hard it was for them to say goodbye to the man of their house but in retrospect, it had to be harder for him to hear his little girl cry for him and not being able to go back. I wondered if that's what my brothers' families will have to go through.
The whole way home I was consumed with the thought of life. Am I where I want to be? Have I accomplished all that I could have up to this point? I'm in my mid-twenties...am I in position to buy a car, a house, enter into a marriage? Do my behaviors and actions reflect that of a woman in her mid-twenties? I finally came to the conclusion that despite whatever shortcomings and things I need to work on, I am content with where I am. Furthermore, I purpose to walk in the will of God so my steps are ordered. I've never felt so close to God than when I was in the sky and reflecting on His majesty. I must remember, no matter what it looks like, whatever "it" may be, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Some say the sky is the limit but I've already touched the sky...my height in Him is limitless.
~Charity Faith~
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